Back again, hello

[Yorkshire Andy]

Welcome back

Just picked up a lwb van to go clear Mrs Andy's grans house tomorrow :/

[Le Mouse]

Lovely to see you back again. I've recently returned too.

Very sorry to hear about your Mum. Your blog post about it was very interesting - I didn't realise that solicitors would be so w@nky in such a delicate and upsetting situation. We were 'lucky' when my Nan died that she had *no money* and so therefore no solicitors were involved. However, over 4 years on, I am living her bungalow and I am only just getting on with the decluttering Partly due to my own sentimentality, partly due to some resistance from family.

[Arzosah]

Hi both!

Andy, commiserations to you and Mrs Andy - we've been doing little bits and bobs, I think doing a lot at once is really tough. Hope Mrs Andy is okay, and can accept support.

Mouse - hiya! It was your "I'm back" thread that made me wonder about my own login details, but I wasn't away as long, and they hadn't been scrubbed

But yes, the solicitors were awful - I understand that they need official ID, but when they require such detail from every executor, at such a time, I really do think they should put it in writing, something like an email or a photocopied sheet, I don't think its too much to ask.

The thing about "lucky to have no money" - it's weird, isn't it, we keep reminding ourselves that we only have the problems because there was money. First World problems, indeed. And you live at her place now? Have you been able to make it your own? I'll go back to your thread, actually ...

[Le Mouse]

And you live at her place now? Have you been able to make it your own?

I do. It's a bungalow in my aunt's back garden! When I first moved in I asked if it would be alright if I replaced some of the furniture and was met by a resounding 'NO!'. Fast forward a bit to earlier this year, we had a row and I threatened to leave (and depriving my aunt of the monthly rent...) and funnily enough, it was offered that I could replace some of the furniture

It's been odd though. My Nan's old sideboard was taken away last weekend. Funny how a slightly bashed-up, probably-fumed-oak sideboard can bring out feelings of sentimentality, but it did. I used to drive my Nan mad playing about pulling out its contents when I was a kid - all the grandchildren did it in their turn! - so it holds memories. But it had to go. As will all the bits of tat that have been lurking in drawers that I couldn't face clearing. There's little things I'll keep, but for the most part it'll all go to the charity shop or into the skip that was delivered yesterday.

It's a hard old slog and I've left it too long. I feel for you and your first wave of decluttering Arzosah, and for Mr and Mrs Andy clearing Mrs Andy's gran's house. Arzosah, I hope your family complications get easier and you get some help soon!

[Arzosah]

It's been odd though. My Nan's old sideboard was taken away last weekend. Funny how a slightly bashed-up, probably-fumed-oak sideboard can bring out feelings of sentimentality, but it did. I used to drive my Nan mad playing about pulling out its contents when I was a kid - all the grandchildren did it in their turn! - so it holds memories. But it had to go. As will all the bits of tat that have been lurking in drawers that I couldn't face clearing. There's little things I'll keep, but for the most part it'll all go to the charity shop or into the skip that was delivered yesterday.

It's a hard old slog and I've left it too long.

Ouch. I didn't want to leave it as long as we're going to, but it's a compromise I can live with. What the housing market will be like by then is anybody's guess, and that may well have an effect, but its on a popular estate, in a popular little town, so here's hoping.

I feel for you and your first wave of decluttering Arzosah, and for Mr and Mrs Andy clearing Mrs Andy's gran's house. Arzosah, I hope your family complications get easier and you get some help soon!

Thanks Mouse ... end of next year is when things should sort themselves out, and as I say, I can live with that. Now that its finalised, actually, help has been more apparent - I think people were sort of paralysed when it was all up in the air.

Anyway, other preps ongoing, cutting back my hedges to the property boundary, and putting some herbs in the little dehydrator. Thats a big experiment for me

[junmist]

WELCOME BACK ( waving icon) I did wonder were you had gone too. Having lost my mother two years ago my thoughts are with you and with every thing you are having to cope with. Even with a Will we had problems so I would say to every one make sure you put every thing down in writing even to what happens to the loo brush

[itsybitsy]

Welcome back!

[diamond lil]

Hiiiii pet, welcome back Absolutely understand re the huge upheaval when the last parent dies - my dad got moved urgently into a care home when I was in Ireland, and all they took was his clothes. All the paperwork, photos, tons of sheet music (he was a violinist with an orchestra) - every little thing to remind me of the person he had once been, was gone. I have no photos of them, or me when I was little.

[Arzosah]

Thank you all three, much appreciated **waving and hugging**. Yep, the steps to sorting a bereavement seem to take forever - we have probate now, at least, and I think we'll be distributing most of the actual cash quite soon.

Lil - I'm so sorry you have no photos - so they took just his clothes and chucked everything else? That's horrendous. I'm very lucky in comparison with that. There's a bit of a feud with a little bit of family, as I mentioned on jansman's "death list" thread, but they've feuded with other parts of the family too, I'm confident that we're not the ones with the problem.

[shocker]

Lil, Im very sorry to hear about that but Im sad to say its far from unusual. Mrs Shocks and I both had similar happen with our grandfathers. I do not know who makes the decision or policy on what is kept and what is binned, but every time it has happened in a UK care home (in my family) it seems that the stuff you dont want, the clothes and so on, are kept and the important stuff thrown away. It seems less so in US care homes, in my experience.