Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

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Medusa
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Location: UK

Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

Post by Medusa » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:20 pm

I have only been prepping for almost 3 years but the information and encouragement which I have gained from this site has been invaluable, thank you to you all. I have always been a little wary of online communities but feel quite at home here :) Not complacent though and still have lots to learn but a hell of a lot more prepared than I was when I first joined.

If admin feel this doesn't belong here, please feel free to delete. I mentioned in a thread a few days ago that we are desperate to leave the rat race and plan to relocate within the UK to somewhere with enough land to grow some of our own food, both crops and livestock (we do have experience of livestock), where we can increase our preps too. If we can find the right property we potentially have a way of bringing in a small income. Both of us are happy to work part time, if required but want to spend the majority of our time and energy into learning new skills, prepping and actually enjoying the years we have left in our own space out in the countryside, whilst being as self sufficient as possible.

So the moral dilemmas, we have grown up children, some are settled, the youngest at 21 i somewhat a loner and doesn't like people much! She knows of our plans but is undecided from week to week as to whether she wants to relocate with us or remain here in her own place but close to her siblings. Both of us still have our parents, who are getting elderly, one set who are remarkably young at heart and fairly lively, the others who aren't quite as sprightly. We both have siblings who are located throughout the UK and so we take the majority of the responsibility for our parents when ill health etc strikes and they need additional support which has been an issue recently. My question is, do we put things in place and relocate to follow our dreams and enjoy the rest of our time together, or do we remain here, forget our dreams and continue prepping as we currently are and continue with our current lifestyle to support those who need us here. Just to add, property and land prices in our current location far exceed where we plan to move so the options are remain here or relocate.
Growing old disgracefully!

jansman
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Re: Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

Post by jansman » Thu Sep 20, 2018 6:07 am

Your grown up children/ elderly parent is remarkably similar to ours.

Mrs J and I spent 6 months of 2016 in Spain, and we did not regret it for one second. Had it not been for the ‘Europe ‘ decision in the UK :lol: , I am certain we would have sold up here and stayed in Spain. We were only a plane ride away. You will only be a drive away.
I am not grumpy. I just don’t waste words.

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xplosiv1
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Re: Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

Post by xplosiv1 » Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:28 am

1. If you give up on your dream, what's left ? Life may seem a little monotone afterwards, you will regret it.
2. Don't call it a dream, call it a plan.

The UK is a small island ..... You're never going to be too far from family. My brother went through the same thing before he moved to Australia.

As with most things like this the longer you put it off the harder it becomes to implement.
Area 11

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Arzosah
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Re: Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

Post by Arzosah » Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:35 am

An unfulfilled dream that would have been completely achievable is a sacrifice too far, I think. Moving to a smallholder-type property will take a while, I suppose, and part of that time is about setting things up for the parents so that the next few years, at least, run smoothly. Things that strike me immediately about your own situation:

- whether your own daughter moves with you or not is sort of immaterial in terms of how big a property you buy - you'll always have a few more bedrooms and even living space than is *necessary* for you and your OH Not heartless! just that her decision on whether or not to come with you can be delayed for much longer than you might think, and doesn't really impact your decision to move. Unless you'd be subsidising her wherever she decides to live.

- is there work that needs doing on the older generations' places? My mother rewired her house only 3 years before she died, new boiler and everything, it was a huge issue. Getting that sort of thing done while you're still really close geographically could make things easier.

- how far away will you be (not to answer on here, obviously)? Maybe a more equitable distribution of helping the parents will have to come about?

- are you working on getting the new skills you'll need? Anything you can learn before you go - beekeeping, welding, plumbing, whatever, will make the learning curve more bearable.


From my experience, and that of friends, I'll chip in the following:
- repeat of the above first, if there's big jobs on the parents' houses, get them done now.
- all of us lived in a different town from my parents our whole adult lives. My brother was only an hour away, so emergency stuff (when she didn't answer the daily phone call, for instance) fell to him. When my dad had dementia and still lived at home, we made sure they had someone with them almost every weekend, which meant a journey from Sussex to Merseyside for both me and my sister, once a month for each of us. My sister's kids were teens, very early 20s, at that stage.
- talking about these options with the parents as well as with your OH, is really important. If they're anything like mine, they'll be compliant but desperate for the help thats being offered. You have to wade through the "I'll be fine" to have the real conversation, I think.
- a friend of mine, a Londoner, went to live with her dad in Devon for 6 months, before he became so ill he needed a nursing home (and she was a nurse!). Her partner, her house and her job, were all in London, and she returned there after a while.
- bear in mind that when someone gets so ill they need a nursing home, even if its only a mile away, as my dad's was, they're still losing everything they know. Bringing them to a home near your new place, when the time comes, might well be okay.


Since I'm an internet stranger whose opinion doesn't actually matter, I'm going to say, go for it :D It sounds wonderful!
My blog: http://www.preparednessfactandfiction.co.uk/
There are affiliate links to Amazon in this blog.

Ara
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Re: Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

Post by Ara » Sun Sep 23, 2018 11:19 am

Go for it.
We moved to a smallholding a 4 hour drive away from sons (in their 20s) and my elderly mother as, like you we couldn't afford anything similar nearer to where we were living at the time. The only experience I had of livestock was about 40 years previously when we kept chickens and goats where I worked. (We keep neither here.) OH had never kept anything other than pets but he now looks after the animals (2 cows, 6 sheep and 2 or 3 pigs when the freezer is running low on pork) I have grown vegetables for many years, in our garden and on an allotment, in the days when most allotment holders were retired men. I got some funny looks to begin with but found them very helpful once they realised I was serious. We are early retirees so have small pensions which are enough to keep us contentedly but not riotously so don't need to make an income from our produce. Should we want to sell anything, our nearest town (10 miles away) has a community market every Friday where you can book a table from week to week. In the summer we take WWOOFers (WorldWide Opportunities on Organic Farms) to help with anything that needs doing - from turning compost heaps to building animal shelters, to planting seeds and thinning raspberries. They are a great help.
I keep an emergency bag packed so I can be ready to leave in 10 minutes (or less) should any disaster befall my family. Yes, it's not like being round the corner but I think we would be sorry if we'd never given this lifestyle a chance. Yes, we've made mistakes and not everything we've tried has worked but we've also had successes and FUN doing it. Any regrets? It would have been good if we could have done this years ago when our children were small but we just couldn't afford it then.
Good luck!

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Arwen Thebard
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Re: Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

Post by Arwen Thebard » Sun Sep 23, 2018 4:34 pm

Go for it now, dont wait too long.

Also, don't think too much about other family members, they will survive perfectly well. (Which sounds very selfish I know but YOU only get one life)

We moved abroad to an 8 acre smallholding twenty odd years ago and dont regret a single moment. :D

Our own age and health (and that of "ancient" parents) did draw us back to the UK eventually, but our time abroad was wonderful (and very hard work) but we loved every minute.

Go for it!!!!
Arwen The Bard

"What did you learn today?"

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Medusa
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Re: Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

Post by Medusa » Mon Sep 24, 2018 9:49 pm

Thanks for all of your wise words. We have made the decision to move within the next couple of years, our mortgage will be gone next year :D so a downsize and relocation. We have some work to do on the house here, but have adapted our plans to lower the cost somewhat. I don't want to be living here and hating my environment whilst we find something suitable. Skills wise, hubby is a plumber and prior to that was a farm manager for many years and so is multi-skilled and can pretty much turn his hand to anything. He also has skills in animal husbandry and vehicle, machinery and tool maintenance, welding, basic electrics, plastering, joinery, decorating and basic building, although major electric and building work would be left to professionals. I do have some skills too, as I also worked on a farm, although at home I tend to be his labourer, am the more tech savvy between us, can fish, make a meal out of pretty much anything, am great at minor demolition, first aid and can do the deed and dress poultry. I have in the past when the kids were little and will do again less skilled work if required to bring in a small income. I do the majority of the prepping here and would be the one doing any project management required for the move, organising the move etc. We both love the outdoors and having worked on farms realise that working outdoors in winter is not pleasant, especially when you have livestock to feed and possible births to supervise. Skills we still need to learn: more about growing our own food, planting an orchard, bee keeping was mentioned and I have already researched and found a course running up the road in 2019. We also need to research home security in rural areas, possibly a few geese to raise the alarm. I would also be responsible for organising and running the planned project to bring in a small income if that is possible.Youngest has done some thinking and decided that she will come with us on the understanding that she can have some pygmy goats, I said it was fine as long as she realises that anything we raise will end up in the pot (apologies to any non meat eaters). Of the 4 children, only one is not happy, the parents haven't been informed yet, however 2 of our 3 siblings think we should just go for it. In the meantime my preps at this end will continue and hopefully increase.
Growing old disgracefully!

Arzosah
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Re: Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

Post by Arzosah » Tue Sep 25, 2018 7:20 am

As a non meat-eater, all I can say is .... CONGRATULATIONS :idea: I'm so pleased you're going to go for it!
My blog: http://www.preparednessfactandfiction.co.uk/
There are affiliate links to Amazon in this blog.

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Arwen Thebard
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Re: Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

Post by Arwen Thebard » Thu Sep 27, 2018 7:45 am

Really excited for you guys. :)
Arwen The Bard

"What did you learn today?"

Ara
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Re: Prepping, relocation and moral dilemmas

Post by Ara » Thu Sep 27, 2018 3:48 pm

Oh, how exciting. As for growing your own, just grow what you eat and don't worry about it. Even though we've been growing stuff for years, every garden is different and every year is different and we can still kill anything (even cacti). We got a dog for security purposes and he is the worst guard dog ever but he's big and scary looking. Have fun planning. It will be interesting to see how it all pans out.

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